Oneupweb : Write Me A Song of PPC

It’s Valentine’s Day and my wife is out of town.  I have to work in the morning, so I can’t go out with my buddies (who are single), and there’s nothing to watch on the 600 channels I pay my cable subscriber for.  So, yeah, I’m bored.  Sure, I could work on my Oneupweb blog.  But I’m not that bored.

Authors, music, movies, memes, mountain bikes.  For two hours, it’s just me and The Google Monster.

Am I reading about PPC?  Kind of.  Okay, not really, but I’m trying to.  It’s just that at this moment I absolutely need to know the following: Which President was the first to throw out a pitch at a MLB game?  Who’s playing at Coachella this year?  Did Han Solo really shoot first?  What was the Beatles’ first drummer’s name?  And does Rickenbacker have any new models coming out this year?

That’s easy enough.  Type “Rickenbacker Guitars” into the search bar.  Hit enter.  And, bam!  Wait, what’s this?  PPC Ads?  Come on!  This is too much like being at work.

Ad #1 – Rickenbacker is the first word in the headline.  Description Line 1 offers free shipping on Rickenbackers.  Description Line 2, tells me, “Up to 30% off on Rickenbackers.”  Clicking the ad I land on a page with Rickenbackers all up and down it.  This is a well-crafted PPC ad.  Nicely done!

Ad #2 – I typed in “Rickenbacker,” didn’t I?  Because this ad is for Fender.  Fender “Texas,” whatever that is.  But, hey, accessories are up to 86% off.  And “most items” ship free.  Click the ad, and I get two sets of guitar pickups.  Not a Rickenbacker.  Not a Fender.  Not a single guitar.  Just pickups.  Fail!

Ad #3 – “Personal Service for You.”  Suddenly, I feel uncomfortable.  And despite being in my early-thirties, I want to call out “Stranger Danger!”  Wait.  “Great prices on premium guitars, with free shipping in the USA,” you say?  Okay, I’ll click your ad.  And what do I get?  A crappy five-string fusion bass.  Knock-off, overpriced, “boutique” Fender-style guitars.  An Ibanez designed by the guitar player from Mr. Big.  Scroll, scroll, scroll.  There, right at the bottom: “Click for more models.”  Surely, there are Rickenbackers on the next page.  And… FAIL!

Ad #4 – Rickenbacker Guitars.  Huge Selection of Rickenbacker Guitars and Basses in Stock.  Simple.  No call to action.  But hey, at least they mention Rickenbacker.  (Twice even.)  Click the ad, and I land on a page with a “See Us on YouTube” button, a Facebook link, and a hyperlink for something called “Artio Joomla,” in the box where I can only imagine a product listing should be.  Fail: Code 404.

Ad #5 – Rickenbacker Guitars.  Save On Guitars At Walmart.  Rickenbacker Guitars.  No way!  There is no freaking way that Walmart is selling Rickenbackers.  I refuse to believe it.  I WON’T believe it.  Click.  Pink Disney Princess guitars.  Kids’ guitars from the Cars movie.  Cheap guitars that include a “For Dummies” book… After 4 pages I click the “Sort By” box, and change it from “Best Match,” to “High to Low.”  Surely, a Rickenbacker will be the first thing that comes up.  Right?  Nope!  A 40×60 Autographed Canvas Picture of Kiss!  Yep.  “With guitar,” it says.  Save Money, Fail Better.

Alright, I’ve rambled enough.  To my fellow PPCers: I know that every ad we write isn’t going to ring a chord like “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”  Heck, most of us would be happy if one of our ads got as many clicks as “Savory Truffle,” did in its day.  But even when those British mop-tops wrote songs that we downright awful, underneath it all, they had the best of intentions.

So like the Beatles, on their trusty Rickenbackers, we’ve got to write the best ad copy we can.  We’ve got to attach RELEVANT keywords.  And we’ve got to make sure that the page our ad lands on is complimentary to the ad.

If it makes it easier think of each PPC ad you write as a song.  The Headline is the opening chord: it demands attention.  Description Line 1 is the verse: it tells the first part of the story.  Description line 2 is the chorus: it’s of even greater intensity and importance than Line 1.  Your keywords, they’re the chords and melody.  And the landing page is the outro that carries over into the next track: the conversion.

We owe this to ourselves, to our clients, and ultimately, to those who will see our ads.  Sure, we can’t all be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  And it’s unlikely that we’ll ever see PPC-Mania.  But we can still try.  Just look at Ringo.